Misery Business
by Yoshimara
Summary: Reno finally gets what he wants, but someone doesn't agree... Warnings inside!


**Title: **Misery Business

**Author:** Yoshimara (slavetosuicide)

**Rating:** M

**Pairing(s):** RenoxCloud, CloudxTifa

**Warning(s):** Songfic, language, slight angst, lemon, lime, alcohol, violence, Tifa bashing, first-person PoV

**Disclaimer:** SquareEnix owns FFVII and it's affiliates. Paramore owns the lyrics. Yoshimara (slavetosuicide) owns the plot and all OCs (characters, places, etc).

**Summary:** Reno finally gets what he wants, but someone else has a say about it...

* * *

Yeah, so I was sittin' there in that damned bar of 'ers enjoyin' a drink after a shitty day at work. It wasn't busy considerin' it was a Saturday, but it wasn't deserted either. I mean, yeah, it was the best place to get fuckin' wasted, but I didn't really care. I was just wantin' to see Blondie again. He'd been away for a few days, doin' his deliveries—I don't see how he can do that job for as long as he has. It probably has shitty health benefits—not like he needs 'em.

_**I'm in the business of misery**_

_**Let's take it from the top**_

Speakin' of that hottie, he just rolled in. I turned my head when he came in tryin' to hide the happiness at seein' 'im alive and lookin' damn good (as always). So what if I worry 'bout 'im when he's off to Gaia knows where. Problem? Didn't think so. An' for the record, I ain't gay. I indulge in both sides of the popsicle, if ya know what I mean. But we're gettin' off track, here.

Cloud Strife, ex-SOLDIER, and the angstiest little bitch I ever saw. But his good looks and hot fightin' skills made up for his lack of bein' a social butterfly, see?

"Cloud! Welcome back!"

Shit, almost forgot about 'er. Lookin' at the far end of the bar, I saw the busty brunette in 'er leather out fit, sans 'er 'boxin' gloves' I call 'em. She can pack one hell of a punch. I fuckin' hated the way she lit up every time Blondie came by, with 'er huge tits and 'innocent' eyes. No fuckin' way they were real, 'specially that act she puts on like she's hot shit. Makes me sick, but I'm normally a bit relieved when he just gives 'er a nod an' a smile. Just like this time.

_**She's got a body like an hourglass**_

_**That's tickin' like a clock**_

Blondie took a seat next to me at the bar and I swear I could smell that sweet ass shampoo he uses. It smells like sunshine—don't ask me how the hell sunshine smells or tastes, Blondie makes it possible. Damn, he killed Sephiroth a number of times, of course he can make sunshine some kinda way of life.

Oi! He's lookin' at me and I'm sittin' here just rattlin' off in my head. So I gave 'im a grin.

"Yo, Blondie. How's it goin'?"

I used to call 'im Spikey, but the one time I did that after Zack died—well, let's just say I almost fuckin' _prayed_ for Sephiroth to show up just so I wouldn't die, ya know? That look on his face, but he didn't touch me. How fucked up is that?

But, I should know better than to engage 'im in conversation but it's habit, yo. Those bright blue eyes stared straight into my green ones, calculatin' before he said, "Surviving, Reno. How are you?"

Holy Shiva, he said a whole fuckin' sentence to me! If I coulda, I woulda jumped for joy. But I'm cool enough not to. I didn't forget how his voice sounded, either. Damn, it was hot and sensual and so _quiet._

Anyways, instead I shrugged my shoulders before flinchin' when my left shoulder complained. Oh yeah, fuckin' forgot about what that bitch Yuffie did to me yesterday. She went all ape-shit, accusin' me of stealin' 'er materia or whatever. I didn't do it! The fuck would I want 'er shit for anyways?

She fuckin' slashed me with 'er damn star thingies while I was walkin' away. Didn't anyone tell 'er not to attack a retreatin' man? But I didn't tell no one 'bout it, either. S'not their business. Come to find out, Valentine borrowed some for Shiva knows what. Bitch didn't even apologize.

I didn't miss the concerned look Blondie shot at me before Tifa-tits slid 'im a drink with just enough strength for it to stop right in front of 'im. See what I mean? She thinks she's so bad ass...

"What happened, Reno?"

Oh, right. Cloud was talkin' to me. I rolled my eyes and smirked, "Ninja girl." Short and to the point, just how Turks work. I was still workin' on gettin' outta work-mode at that time, an' I didn't even think of explainin' it further.

Thankfully, Cloud's many things but he ain't stupid. Those baby blues widened a bit in shock before he frowned. I hated it when he did that. But I guess it's better than his mopey bullshit.

_**It's a matter of time**_

_**Before we all run out**_

"You want me to look at it?"

I just laughed an' took another swig of my beer. Gaia, he was just too good sometimes.

"Nah, I'm good. Just sore."

Yeah, I lied to 'im. S'not his business; doesn't matter how I feel 'bout 'im. So what? I'd life, I had worse done to me. A little pain and a scratch won't kill me. His lips quirked into a smile an' he took a drink of his own. "If you say so."

"Yeah, I do, yo. 'S no big deal."

Hours passed and we just talked 'bout random shit. Ended up makin' 'im laugh a few times, and Shiva it was the most beautiful thing I ever heard. Hell, I couldn't help but laugh with 'im. 'Course, sooner or later all that drinkin' would come to bite me in the ass. I had to go take a piss.

Tellin' Blondie this, he just chuckled again before sayin' he wouldn't leave. So, I hopped my skinny ass off the stool I was on and kinda made my way to the back where the toilets were. When I got in there, I hurried to take care of business so I could get back to the fuckin' hottie.

Can ya tell I got it bad for Cloud? If ya can't, you're fuckin' stupid and need to be shot. Honestly, though, yo, I've been wantin' to ask 'im if he wanted to go out sometime. Maybe take 'im to dinner, ride in the helicopter—nothin' big. I'd be willin' to give up my bachelor days for 'im!

I know, not somethin' you'd expect Reno to say but it's true.

I fuckin loved 'im. We stopped bein' enemies awhile ago, which is a damned good thing. Hated that gap between us.

Anyways, I finished up my business; washed my hands, too. Aren'tcha proud, Ma? Taught me somethin' good, for once. But, I made my way back out there and what I saw made me stop in my tracks and my blood run cold.

Cloud was leanin' over the bar in such a way that it'd make the sexiest whore cry. The way his ass jutted out with those muscular thighs—but that wasn't it. It was _why_ he was over the fuckin' counter that made me freeze. Tifa had 'im in a classic tongue war.

Did I ever mention how much I hate 'er?

_**When I thought he was mine**_

_**She caught him by the mouth**_

To say I was pissed was far from it. I was hurt, and possibly a few other things that I can't think of right now. And to top it all off, I couldn't move. Apparently my body wanted me to watch this bullshit. Watchin' those two gettin' so close like that...

I needed to get outta there. Finally, I strutted over to the bar, laid down some gil (didn't care if it was the right amount or not, fuck 'er) an' just left. My mind was jumbled with so much shit, and bein' on the edge of drunk didn't help, let me tell ya. After awhile, I just felt tired so I went home to my shit apartment an' went to bed.

Days turned to weeks, turned to months. Cloud came an' went with his little delivery service an' when I actually got the chance to talk to 'im, somethin' was up. He started to mope again, but hit it when Tifa was around. Honestly, I didn't really care any more.

Okay, that's a down-right lie, an' I know it. I was pissed an' hurt an' all that angsty bullshit that Cloud pulls off so well. But it wasn't at 'im, oh hell no. Fuckin' bitch thinks she can waltz on in an' steal _my_ man like that!

Okay, so maybe he wasn't mine, but he was gonna be, damnit! I made up my fuckin' mind to make 'im mine that night in the bathroom! Hell, I was stupid enough to think that if I slept with enough chicks he'd be jealous. 'Course, it didn't work. Shoulda figured that out long ago.

After awhile, every whore became 'im; his skin I was touchin' his lips I was tastin'—you get the idea. I swear if you tell 'im I'll stick my Electro-Mag Rod so far up your ass you'll be spittin' electric charges for a year!

It was a little over half a year when I saw 'im again, but he was alone—which surprised the shit outta me 'cause Tifa an' 'im were joined at the hip for the last few months. He sat at the edge of the pool in the middle of that broken down church; ya know the one that healed all those kids from the geostigma.

I'll never forget how he looked that day, 'specially how fuckin' hard my heart was poundin' in my heard. The light filterin' from the broken roof and the reflection on the water made 'im fuckin' glow! His beautiful blond hair coulda been a halo with his pale skin an' baby blue eyes. Now I could see ol' Sephy's obsession with 'im. He was fuckin' sex on legs!

The look on his face, though...he looked like he did before all that remnant business. An' before ya ask, I was just walkin' 'round town on my day off. Rufus was bein' extra nice lately—musta gotten laid on his vacation last week. But I was curious to see what made 'im look so upset.

So I walked over to 'im 'an sat my skinny ass down next to 'im. I don't think he noticed me until I finally said, "Hey, Blondie. What's up, yo?"

After a few minutes of no answer, I got worried. I frowned. No growls, no glares. What coulda made 'im so upset? He didn't even acknowledge me! What—the—hell?

"What's wrong, Cloud?"

'Course, I hadta whisper 'cause otherwise I thought I'd break 'im. Another moment passed and when he finally spoke I saw somethin' I never thought I would and end up livin' to tell about. But when those words left his lips, it all made perfect fuckin' sense.

"She cheated on me."

And a single tear fell down his cheek.

_**I waited eight long months**_

_**She finally set him free**_

Apparently that was the day that was full of surprises for little ol' me. 'Cause next thing I knew, I had an armful of blond and muscle that was warm and solid. He didn't even struggle when I ran circles on his back! If I wasn't so pissed off at that fake-titted bitch I woulda been happy. But the subtle shakin' of his shoulders reminded me that It wasn't the time.

So we sat there for awhile, 'im cryin' an' me holdin' 'im. The feel of 'im in my arms was amazin', let me tell ya. I did feel sorry for 'im, though. He got his heart broken; part of the reason why I was tryin' my best to keep 'im from goin' off the deep end. I was sayin' it'd be okay and she didn't know what she gave up. Seriously, she didn't.

But when he looked up at me, those blue eyes red-rimmed and shinin' my mouth just kinda fell apart. I spilled to 'im how much I cared and I didn't care if he wasn't into me and how I knew he was my one an' only...

_**I told him I can't lie**_

_**He was the only one for me**_

Aw, shit. I sound like such a chick. But as I was gonna apologize—I mean he just broke up with the bitch—he had me knocked on my back with 'im on me and kissin' me.

I froze, completely shocked. Was I dreamin'? Or were we really drunk? But my body caught up before my mind did an' I was kissin' 'im back. Random thoughts kept runnin' through my head when our hands gripped wherever they could; shoulders, arms, hands, hair...so much heat!

Before I knew it, half a month went by and I had my Blondie by my side. An' like I said, I gave up the chicks that night when he kissed me in the church. I'm a Turk, when I make a promise—when I'm not on the job—I keep 'em. But today was gonna be special. I was gonna take 'im out for that chopper ride an' dinner tonight.

So I arrived at Seventh Heaven, wearin' a pair of jeans and a dark green button-up shirt I bought just for this sorta thing. I walked in to see Tifa behind the bar, workin' as always, Rude was there talkin' to 'er. So, yeah...that's kinda odd. Eh, whatever.

_**Two weeks and we caught fire**_

'Course, I couldn't find my Blondie so I asked the bitch where he was an' she gave me the deadliest glare. Pft, she doesn't scare me! I could totally kick 'er ass. An' anyways, not like it's my fault _she_ cheated on 'im. With who, I could care less, yo.

_**She's got it out for me**_

Footsteps made me look to see Cloud walkin' outta the back. He wore a navy blue muscle shirt (drool central, mind ya) with black cargo pants. Shiva he was gorgeous, walkin' in a way that his hips swayed. Damn, if he was gonna be like this the whole night, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to 'im but fuckin'-A, I didn't want to pressure 'im into it. Ya, I know, the sluttiest Turk wantin' to take his time in a _committed_ relationship. What a load of bull, right? Wrong.

So I wrapped my arm around his waist with a smirk.

"Ready, yo?"

"Yeah."

I looked to that heartless bitch again and wasn't surprised to see she looked completely pissed. I grinned knowingly at 'er, beginnin' to take my Blondie out for a good time.

_**But I wear the biggest smile**_

That night was the best night of my life, yo! We ate at the best Wutain place in town an' talked 'bout shit-loads of things before we toured the plains in my helicopter. I love to fly, almost as much as I love Cloud. An' there's no limit there, let me tell ya. I never thought I'd see his face light up that way, like it was fuckin' Christmas or somethin'.

Before the night ended we were at Cloud's next favorite place, Zack's grave. I gotta admit, it's kinda peaceful. No traffice, no people—just wilderness. There we sat, chopper behind us, lookin' up at the stars. Just us...

I never thought we'd end up like this.

_**Woah, I never meant to brag**_

He curled up closer to me, restin' his head on my shoulder an' I smiled.

_**But I got him where I want him now**_

"Hey, Blondie?"

"Hm."

"You okay, yo?"

_**Woah, it was never my intention to brag**_

"Mmhmm."

Another smile. Damn, if this shit keeps up he'll break my face. I'm usually one to fake it all, but he keeps makin' it all so true.

"Ya know," I said, wrappin' my arm 'round 'im, "I'm actually happy."

_**To steal it all away from you now**_

His shoulders shook. I looked away from the sky to look at 'im. What the hell?

"Are you laughin' at me, yo?"

He shook his head to disagree, but the low chuckle that always made my hair stand on end rang out. The little shit _was _laughin' at me! But I wasn't mad at 'im. An' it wasn't long til I was laughin' with 'im.

_**But God does it feel so good**_

_**'Cause I got him where I want him now**_

We sat there for who knows how long, just enjoyin' the peace and each other. My hand would sometimes wander over his shoulder and up his neck to play with his hair. The first time I did that, he made this noise that made me stop. It was kinda like a growl and a moan.

_**And if you could then you know you would**_

He fuckin' _purred!_ I stared at 'im the first time and he glared at me. I never heard that noise before and it surprised—_not _scared—me. 'Course, I found out it was a good thing after he put my hand back. Makes me wonder if it's a...what's it called? Oh yeah, erogenous zone. See? I'm smart!

Anyways, he made that noise which I ended up findin' out was sexy and made me shiver in places I didn't really want 'em right now.

"Hey, Reno?"

_**Cause God it feels so**_

"Yeah, yo?"

"Thank you."

_**It just feels so good**_

oOo

A few months now and at this point we were spendin' the night at eachother's place almost every other day. I was always on my best fuckin' behavior, an' cold showers became my new best friend.

Cloud came over to my place, mopin' and sad. When he came in (he had a spare key I gave 'im awhile back), he flopped down on my couch an' stared at the floor. 'Course, I had just gotten outta the shower an' I was always so fuckin' happy to see 'im. But today...

"Tifa wants to get together again."

My heart fuckin' stopped. What the fuck?!

_**Second chances they don't ever matter**_

_**People never change**_

"What'd ya say?" I was afraid of the answer, yo. No shit.

"Told her no."

I can't tell ya how fuckin' _relieved _I was. I hugged 'im, despite his protests of touchin' me half—well, mostly—naked.

"Good."

He gave me this gorgeous look of confusion. One eyebrow raised, blue eyes questionin', lips slightly curved in a mockin' smirk. Damn, I wanted 'im so bad!

"She doesn't deserve ya, not after what she pulled."

Oh, one tid-bit I forgot to mention. The asshole she fucked behind his back? Rude.

Found out from 'im when I told 'im 'bout me an' Blondie. He didn't realize they were together when he got under 'er skirt til I told 'im. Fuckin' idiot.

But I never blamed 'im. He wasn't exactly smart when it came to that kinda thing. Nah, I was always mad at the two-timin' bitch who did it in the first place. Just _thinkin'_ about what she did pissed me off.

_**Once a whore, you're nothing more**_

_**I'm sorry, that'll never change**_

"You should forgive her," Cloud said softly an' in that way that always left me thinkin'.

He only used that tone when he was either seriously depressed or serious. An' by the look on his face, it mighta been both.

"I will when she proves she fuckin' deserves it."

_**And about forgiveness**_

_**We're supposed to have exchanged**_

_**I'm sorry, honey, but I'm passing up**_

_**Now look this way**_

He smiled then. It was like I fell in love all over again.

A week after that I was in the bar, Blondie was out on a job. I was mindin' my own business, drinkin' my beer and tryin' to think of a good welcome home gift for Cloud when a wet towel slapped the counter in front of me.

Lookin' up, Tifa was right there, an angry look on 'er face. She looked ready to pounce.

"He was mine."

"Oh yeah? Key word there is 'was', yo."

_**Well there's a million other girls**_

_**Who do it just like you**_

"He still is."

I took another swig of my drink. The fuck does this girl think she's doin'?

"At least I kept my demeanor the same." Score for me! Usin' big words in the right context. Ma woulda been so proud.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

_**Looking as innocent as possible**_

_**To get to who**_

_**They want and what they like**_

"Please. Ya tell 'im how much ya love 'im, with ya wide brown eyes all innocent an' shit, then ya spread your legs for another man. A Turk, no less. An' ya know what? He's happy. Quit bein' selfish."

She started fumin' an' I finished off the beer. I stared at 'er, not amused. I wouldn't lay a hand on 'er, since I promised Blondie. But hey, if she starts somethin...

"He came--"

"Onto me. Yeah, like I'm gonna believe that bullshit. Even if he did ya coulda said no."

Smirkin', I tossed some gil up on the counter. She was beginnin' to get on my nerves.

_**It's easy if you do it right**_

_**Well, I refuse, I refuse, I refuse**_

"He's happy. Why can't ya see that?"

I shook my head, walkin' outta the bar to let 'er stew. Just as I stepped out, Blondie was right there in his black delivery getup. I smirked when I saw 'im.

"Glad to see ya home, Blondie."

He smiled then pounced and kissed me. He tasted like sunshine (remember what I said?) and blueberries. My heart jerked when I kissed 'im back and he stroked my neck in such a way it left me weak. Gaia, I almost lost myself then an' there. But when he whispered somethin' in my ear, I literally jumped on Fenrir wantin' to get back to my place.

_**Woah, I never meant to brag**_

_**But I got him where I want him now**_

"I'm ready."

Those words I've been waitin' to hear. When he got on in front of me, I got a glimpse of Tifa watchin' us with concern and rage. I smirked, tossed 'er a cocky wave, and held on tight as we drove back home.

_**Woah, it was never my intention to brag**_

_**To steal it all away from you now**_

When we got inside, we barely made it to my cramped bedroom before we were almost naked. But I pushed 'im down on the mattress. I wanted to take my fuckin' time; didn't wait this long to make it end so quick.

His hands never left me while my mouth explored his body, lickin' every battle scar that made his skin even more perfect. Every whimper, twitch, and shiver I memorized; even when I took 'im in.

_**But God does it feel so good**_

_**'Cause I got him where I want him now**_

His voice was like music, even when he cried my name like that. So beautiful. I almost lost it just hearin' 'im beg in a way that woulda normally made 'im think of 'imself as pathetic. An' as I climbed up his body and stared into his eyes, preparin' 'im for pain and pleasure, my heart fuckin' melted.

Those big blue eyes were so unguarded for once, and I saw the love an' trust in 'em that no one else would get to see. It made me pause and smile. Because there was no one else I'd love more than this fuckin' cutie under me.

_**And if you could then you know you would**_

_**'Cause God it feels so**_

And our connection was there! Movin' and squirmin'—fuck! I know we both were pantin' and cursin', but we didn't care. It was just us, an' that's how I always wanted it.

_**It just feels so good**_

We laid there, pantin' an' sweaty, fuckin' high as hell from each other. Shiva, that shit was way better than my fucked up imagination. I musta actually said that 'cause he started laughin'. It was breathy an' soft.

When he rolled over to face me, he looked so beautiful in the low lamplight. I couldn't help but be smug an' ran my fingers over his naked shoulder.

What can I say? I got 'im an' I ain't lettin' go.

_**I watched his wildest dreams come true**_

_**And not one of them involving you**_

_**Just watch my wildest dreams come true**_

_**Not one of them involving...**_

"I love you, Reno."

"Love ya too, Blondie."

An' we slept.

_**Woah, I never meant to brag**_

_**But I got him where I want him now**_

Months turned into a year an' finally the bitch backed off. I forgave 'er eventually—mighta been a good idea to tell 'er that, though. But, I've been too busy, really.

_**Woah, I never meant to brag**_

_**But I got him where I want him now**_

_**Woah, it was never my intention to brag**_

_**To steal it all away from you now**_

Blondie and I got a place together 'bout a year an' a half later. Nothin' special. Bossman gave me a shit-ass raise when he saw the engagement band on my finger. That night was an amazin' one.

Goin' out on Fenrir for a night under the stars, just like our first date. Makin' love under the sky...yeah, it's sappy but Cloud enjoyed it 'bout as much as I did.

_**But God does it feel so good**_

_**'Cause I got him where I want him now**_

We tied the knot six months later. Nothin' big, but the honeymoon was somethin' else.

You think I'm gonna tell you 'bout that? You're a fuckin' perv.

_**And if you could then you know you would**_

An' now I'm here, watchin' my husband sleep, still smellin' the musk from our kinky adventure earlier.

_**'Cause God it feels so**_

I love 'im. An' if I could, I'd let 'im kill me if he wanted. But, I trust 'im with my life. And vice-versa.

_**It just feels so good.**_

0o0

**A/N: Yeah, this one was pretty easy to write (except for the speech since it's basically supposed to be Reno reflecting on his relationship with Cloud). I tried to make it funny, sorry if it's not! Dedicated to Izzy-Lawliet. Love ya lots and hope you're feeling better! :hugs:**

**04/29/09: Edited for spelling errors.  
**


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